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If I Perish
A novel of ancient political intrigue, faith, and romance
ISBN: 1-59129-524-6
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Price: $16.95
S & H: $4.00
WA State residents add: $1.74 for sales tax.
(Sorry, but I can't get out of it.)
International Sales: $16.95
S&H: $5.00
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Fourteen year-old Esther is removed from her modest Jewish family in Susa and thrust into the luxurious, decadent court of the Persian King, Xerxes. She must compete for the position of Queen against hudreds of other virgins. After intense preparation, Esther is called before the King. He is smitten and declares her the Queen.
Just as she is adjusting to her new life, she is swept up into a storm of intrigue and terror. And edict has been written -- and stamped with her husband's seal -- that will end not only her life, but those of the entire Jewish race. Faced with peril at every turn, uncertain whom she can trust, Esther must carefully weave her way through a tangled web of palace intrigues before she can expose the man who plots not only the death of a nation, but schemes to seize the throne.
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Read an excerpt from If I Perish
At the door of the king's chambers they stopped. Two huge black eunuchs stood there with crossed axes. Even though she had seen them in the harem, somehow these hulking silent men and their weapons looked more...menacing than usual. Light from oil lamps glinted off their sharpened steel edges. Esther's heart contracted at their implied threat. She had to do her best or her death would be quick and merciless.
Hagai smiled at Esther. "You will do fine," he told her as if reading her frightened thoughts.
"Do you think so?" Esther asked, searching the eunuch's face for confirmation.
"I am confident of it. Just remember the advise that you gave to Ramoth when she came to you: Forget what you have been taught by the eunuchs and just be yourself."
Esther smiled uncertainly. "Thank you, Hagai. You have been so kind to me. I will do my best to make you proud of me."
"Please the king and that will make me a proud and happy man."
He turned to the eunuchs. "This is Esther. She visits the king tonight."
The eunuchs nodded. As one of them started to open the door, Esther grabbed Hagai's arm tightly, wishing she could flee back to the safety of her room.
"Peace be with you, child," Hagai told her. "You are about to enter the presence of Xerxes. You are a brave and beautiful young woman. You will not fail." He squeezed her shoulder. "Remember to bow low when you are announced." Esther nodded mutely and followed the eunuch through the door into a small anteroom where a servant removed her cloak and veil.
She heard the announcement and stepped through the curtain hanging over the doorway. Her knees shook so badly she could no longer stand and she fell on her face before the king.
Well, that wasn't so hard to accomplish, she mused with wry humor. Now if only her legs would assist her to stand at the correct time!
Looking at the girl in front of him, Xerxes felt bored and depressed. All the girls he had seen over the last few months had not helped him get over his depression or make him stop thinking of Vashti. He kept comparing them against his former queen and her qualities; he found them all lacking.
Most of them were silly little girls, chattering and smiling, trying to be amusing. They cared nothing for him or about him. They had no care if the Empire was safe or if it was going through a major revolution. They just wanted to be the queen. As long as they had new clothes and jewels, they were happy.
He sighed and shifted his position. After seeing so many girls, they were now all starting to look alike.
This queen contest had been a mistake, he thought miserably. He desired no queen. They were troublesome, forever getting into affairs that did not concern them and suggesting that this or that would make the people happy. Who cared if the people were happy? As Haman had pointed out just the other day, they were his subjects and as such must do as he wished. Their feelings really didn't matter.
Truly he must have been temporarily mad to have allowed this contest to commence. But now that it had started, he was unable to stop until he had found the woman who would be his queen.
He glanced around the room, seeing the green marble floors and ivory marble walls covered in elegant green and gold tapestries. Red and gold drapes covered the windows. His couch where he presently reclined was against the far wall near a small fire. It was elegant, beautiful, and empty, he thought. Loneliness washed over him.
"You may rise," he told the girl kneeling in front of him.
Slowly Esther raised her head and then her upper body until she was kneeling. Lifting her gaze from the floor, she looked at the king for the first time.Her breath got caught somewhere in her throat. Xerxes was not at all what she had been expecting. All along she had thought of him as old and fat and ugly. But the man seated in front of her could be no more than thirty five years old. He possessed a slim, athletic build and was one of the best looking men Esther had ever beheld in her life.
Taking a closer look, she saw that he appeared tired, as if he hadn't slept in months. With all the girls he had been forced to see, he was very likely exhausted. He also looked unhappy. She suddenly hoped that she could bring some comfort to him; make him smile and for a short while forget the enormous burden of being a king.
Xerxes stared at the girl in front of him, feeling as if he had just been hit by a bolt of lightning. Her had found her! he thought exultantly. At last, after months of painstaking searching and soul-destroying unhappiness he had found the woman he had been looking for all his life. He had no idea how he knew and didn't stop to figure out why he was so sure; he just was. For the first time in weeks, he felt real excitement stir in him.
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