Practicing the Presence of God

Practicing the Presence of God

By Deborah R. Turner

I heard a lot about the presence of God while growing up. I even saw it work in other peoples lives. I felt the holy presence of God in the room where missionaries kneeled to pray. Their faith was so very strong and it almost felt like you could reach out and touch the Lord. However, that Presence seemed to walk around me, never quite touching me, leaving me feeling bereft and lonely.

I grew up as a missionary kid. I attended a mission boarding school where I suffered repeated emotional, physical and sexual abuse at the hands of a dorm parent. I would lie in bed each night and pray desperately for a way out, but none seemed to come. My abuser told me God wouldn't listen to me; I was too sinful. Still, I tried to get through to God. No one else could effect my rescue. Maybe one of my prayers would get through and God would help me.

Nothing happened. The beatings and sexual abuse continued and I felt increasingly isolated from God. Bible verses were something I learned because they were required, but they didnt mean anything. And though I still prayed, I didn't really believe the Lord was listening to me.

My family eventually returned to the United States. Besides church every Sunday, and every Wednesday, I went to every Bible Camp, every retreat and never missed my youth group meetings. I'd see people getting saved and be happy for them, but it didn't really affect me. I felt that God had abandoned me. I seemed to exist in some sort of void where He didn't want to be.

As an adult, the result of the childhood abuse and subsequent disconnection from God fueled anger and depression. I struggled with feelings of hopelessness, despair, and self-loathing. I was briefly hospitalized, but the doctors couldn't help me. Finally, I decided suicide was the only way out.

God had other plans. He brought people into my life who listened to my story of abuse and all the feelings that came with it. Then they prayed with me, asking God to minister to my pain and bring me healing. As we worked through my experiences, I felt the Holy Spirit's warm, loving presence in my life, wiping away the pain, and lies I had believed for so long. It was as if the sun had burst into my life, warming up corners that had been dead and cold for years. For the first time, I felt like God really loved me.

I still have a lot of pain to deal with. I went through four years of abuse and have just scraped the tip of the iceberg. But now, instead of feeling isolated from God, I know He is there. I can feel His presence around me all the time, like a Best Friend I can talk with day or night. Whether I'm driving the car, washing clothes, doing the dishes, or vacuuming, I know I can bring my concerns and my problems to Him.

Psalm 139:3 says, You comprehend my path and my lying down,

and are acquainted with all my ways. There is comfort in

knowing that Jesus knows my path and guides my steps. My part is to trust Him and be willing to walk with Him.

So how exactly does one practice the presence of God on a daily basis among the pots and pans, as Brother Lawrence says?

First of all, a Christian needs to be aware that the Holy Spirit is always around us in everything we do, everywhere we are (Ps. 139:1-18). A believer doesn't just sit Jesus in a chair and go on about his daily life. Christ is a presence inside, that a Christian carries with him wherever he goes.

David recognized this when he said, "Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?" (v. 7). No matter where he went whether Heaven or hell, or the uttermost parts of the sea David knew God was always there and saw everything he did and thought. The Holy Spirit was leading him, holding him. This close presence of God caused David to exclaim, "How precious also are your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them. If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand." (vs. 17-18a). Being with God was as easy as breathing to David.

My aunt is a great one for practicing the presence of God in everyday life. One day when I was about 17, I went with her to do some last minute grocery shopping before we left for summer camp. As we pulled into a parking stall right in front of the store, she said, "Thank you, Lord, for this perfect place to park."

"Why would God care where we parked," I asked.

"God always knows what we need before we do," she answered. "He knows how much time we have, how heavy the load will be and He prepares the way for us. I was just thanking Him for His care."

Whether it was driving to work in the morning, looking for a parking space at the grocery store, or taking a longer trip, Aunt Mary showed me by example the presence of God at work in her life. She had a confidence that the Lord would make a way for her before she ever got where she was going. Time after time I watched His answer to her prayers. And each time she would teach me something about the Lord.

Aunt Mary was practicing the principles laid down in Deuteronomy 6:7-9. "You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

Devotions was always a big part of my childhood. Both morning and evening. In the morning my father would read a few verses from the Bible before we all bolted out the door for school and work. In the evening right after dinner, we read a daily devotional, said a few words about the topic, then prayed, thanking God for His blessings, and praying for His protection for our missionaries.

Now I have children of my own. Very rarely do I get a chance to have everyone around the table at the same time for dinner. Discussions of the Bible and the Lord very often end up taking place during a television program that tries the disprove the Bible or in a hotly debated political issue, like potential war. Sometimes its when I am driving my son to or from school and we talk about Genesis to refute the evolution taught in Biology. We also turned to the Bible when he had to learn about other religions like Buddhism, Islam, and Hinduism in World History class.

My daughter recently called me from college in tears. "I flunked my test. I'm going to fail the course." After talking for some time I told her I would pray for her. "That won't help now, Mom," she told me. I offered up a quick silent prayer, asking for guidance, then suggested she go and talk to her professor, who just happened to be having office hours at that particular time.

When we got off the phone I said another prayer for her. She called back about an hour later, obviously relieved. She wasn't failing the course after all. I reminded her that the Holy Spirit was always with her. If she put her faith in Him, she would have peace, even when she encountered hard times. She just needed to pray and ask Him for help.

Now I know that God was listening to my desperate cries for deliverance when I was a child. I can see where He made ways for me to escape, though it wasn't always without suffering. As I heal, I am learning that I can hand Him my pain, my sorrow, my problems and know that He will bring healing, truth and peace to my heart. Practicing the presence of God isn't anything a Christian has to do in a formal sense of the word, like practicing the piano for 30 minutes, or setting an alarm to pray every hour. Its simply living every day with the supreme knowledge that even among the pots and pans and piles of dirty laundry, He is always with us.