The Virtuous Wife

THE VIRTUOUS WIFE

By Deborah R. Turner

I don't mean to complain, but the wife in Proverbs 31 really intimidates me. There is no way I can keep up with her -- just reading about her makes me exhausted. So for several years I have done my best to skip the last chapter of Proverbs.

I'll tell you why.

First of all the Virtuous Wife -- I'll call her Ruby -- is a morning person. I hate mornings. I have a saying that any day that starts with morning is a disaster. But Ruby rises before dawn. She enjoys the early morning freshness, the beautiful quiet before the rest of the family awakens. This is the time she gets organized for the day, her time for meditation and devotion with God. If she misses this special time -- if one of the children is sick or she sleeps late -- it seems to throw her whole day off. She really needs these few minutes she takes each morning for herself.

When she is set for the day, she goes to the market to buy food for the day. I know from my childhood in Africa that the freshest vegetable and choicest meats arrive early. The shop keepers and vendors smile when they see her coming down the street. They know they need to be on their toes. She will dicker over the smallest item. But they understand that she isn't trying to cheat them. With her large family, this is how she gets the best values for her money. Often she buys extra food, knowing that there will be guests dropping by during the day to share a meal with them. The merchants also know this and will sometimes give her something extra. In return, they receive her beaming smile and heartfelt thanks.

On returning home with her groceries, she cooks the morning meal, rouses the family, feeds them and then heads for the fields. This is one industrious woman. She's been up for several hours already. By this time I'd be ready to go back to bed. But not Ruby. She's just starting. She, her older daughters, and her friends from the village follow behind her husband and sons as they plows the fields. They scatter handfuls of seeds over the ground. There is much laughing and gossip as they walk between the rows and carefully cover the seeds they've just planted. Then during the growing season, they carefully weed and water their fields, watching anxiously as the grain grows. When it's time to harvest, they all join together to gather up the stalks the men have cut, making sure there is some left for the widows and poor of the village. Her days are long and tiring, but Ruby thrives on this.

Then, once the day's work in the fields is finished and the evening meal has been consumed -- often with extra mouths to feed -- she turns her hands to the needle, spindle and shuttle. She is a skillful seamstress, making beautiful clothes for herself and her family, and fine linen to sell in the markets the next morning. The yards of cloth and intricate tapestries that come from her weaving looms are the envy of many in the village.

When the week's work is through, Ruby, along with many others from her village converge on an area outside the nearest large town to hold a weekend market. They are joined by people from other neighboring villages. This is a time for socializing, shopping, and selling the tapestries and linens she has made that week. Her children have a great time racing between the stalls with the other children. Her husband gathers with other men and they sit under a tree and exchange news and gossip from their villages. Rare are the times when Ruby returns home with any of her own merchandise. However, her purse of gold coins is heavier by far.

About this time I'm beginning to wonder does the woman never sleep? Why doesn't she just sit down for a couple of hours, put her feet up and read a good book? It's not that I object to being industrious. I enjoy getting in the kitchen and cooking up a batch of stew or soup or even doing a big roast beef dinner. I don't even mind cleaning the house-- as long as I don't have to do it everyday -- or planting and weeding the garden. I even enjoy making jam -- the no-cook variety-- and knitting or doing other crafts to sell on consignment.

But I tend to be a little lazy. I like to take a break once in a while and spend time reading a book or playing a game with the kids. I wonder how Ruby ever gets to do that. She just seems so busy.

Not only is she industrious, but she's compassionate. She has the gift of hospitality. She's forever extending a hand to the poor and needy. She doesn't question or judge them. If they come to her, she is ready to help them. In fact, it seems most people in her village know that and many a stranger is sent to her home. There is always something yummy staying warm on the edge of the stove. When a woman and her children come knocking on her door, dressed in rags and obviously hungry, she invites them in, placing hot food on the table, even though her own family has finished their meal long since. Afterwards she gives them clothes and a bed for the night. The next morning she sends them away with more food, warm blankets, and a small amount of gold.

Maybe things were safer in her time, I don't know. But I would think twice before I invited a homeless person into my house. If one ever came to me, I would probably suggest they go to the nearest homeless shelter or surplus food supplier. I might even give them the bus schedule and change for fare so they could get there. Sometimes I feel that if they got a job or worked harder at the one they have, they wouldn't be in need. Maybe sometimes I'm right.

I wonder if Ruby ever feels this way? I wonder if she ever gets tired of people coming to her when a little industriousness on their parts would ease their circumstances? If she ever does, she never lets it show. The Lord has given her many things and she wants to show her gratitude by returning something back. She knows it could easily be she and her family out on that street without food and warmth.

A third attribute of Ruby is that she is possessed with wisdom. She knows just how to deal with each situation. When her children have bad days and fight, she doesn't lose her patience and yell at them to cut that out or go to their rooms. No, when she opens her mouth, it is with wisdom, and on her tongue are words of kindness. She watches over her household, young and old alike and guides their footsteps with care. She knows that if she trains up her children in the ways of the Lord, when they are grown they will continue to follow Him. Often as she sits at the loom, her children gather around her and she tells them stories of the Lord. She shows them how to treat each other as they do themselves. She teaches them respect and diligence and compassion.

On the rare occasions when she does scold, they take her admonishments to heart. They know it hurts her to reprimand them. She gets a terribly sad look in her eyes, so they try always to behave.

Her unswerving devotion is rewarded by the unending love and respect of her family. Her husband is the envy of many men in the village. He sits proudly in the square and testifies of her many virtues. He brings her flowers or trinkets and praises her often. Her children also speak of her gentleness and goodness, her kindness to those in need. In return, she serves them more diligently. It has formed an unbreakable bond between all of them.

I began this article by complaining about the woman whom I call Ruby. I've come to realize that she is a lady I would like very much to model my life after. She possesses qualities I would really like to incorporate into my life: diligence, compassion, hospitality, wisdom and watchfulness.

But more than that, she listens to and obeys the soft promptings of the Holy Spirit, knowing that He has her best in mind and will never leave her destitute, no matter how much she gives. So perhaps her most important quality is her faith in the Lord which she quietly passes on to each person she meets.

I'm glad I met her.

Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10 (NKJV).